Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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