the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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