I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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