This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
