Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
