is wine microwaveable?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
