i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
