Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
