tell your sister to shave her snatch
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
