I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
