Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
