We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
