At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
