You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
