You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
