He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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