Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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