Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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