No, drunk sperm still make babies.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
