I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Semen is not good for contacts.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This is the high leading the old right now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
