Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
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