Apparently you make a good broom.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
