o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
