Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
