I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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