glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
