he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
