is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
