you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
