Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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