A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
