she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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