Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Terrible idea I love it
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
