All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
