Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it was like eating out sand paper
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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