yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
