i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize