Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
