whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
