The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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