After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
