Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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