Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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