i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
