it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
