Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
bring money and cleavage
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
