Are we in a gay sports bar?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
