Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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