yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
