Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
