You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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