ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
