Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
