bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
