I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Drake has all the answers
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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